A bit shit but also wonderful: the 2017 story

OK, OK, 2017 was A LOT shit in many ways. The government is constantly trying to take away/destroy things I care about – like human rights, the environment, libraries, health care, being able to live and pay my bills in general – and every day there seems to be another mass shooting. Add onto that the occasional threat of nuclear war over what seems me to like some really stupid dick measuring contest, the fact that people are accepting Nazis (WTF white people?!), and like probably 18,000 other upsetting, stressful, and legitimately scary things this year and there were some days that it was hard to get things done.

Anxiety medication helps. I realized I probably should have started taking this a while ago. But I guess took me years to realize that situations like having a coworker point out typo in a work document in a lovely, nonjudgmental way so you can change it, probably shouldn’t send you into an hours-long spiral of shame, near tears, and inability to do anything else. Yay! So yeah. Thank goodness for SSRIs.

I also really struggled with running because of recurring hip problems and some other very lame health problems so I’m ending up 2017 a bit chubbier than I was in years past. I’m remembering it’s a lot easier to be all body positive when you feel like you’ve been able to take care of yourself and when you like the way you look. But, it’s a work in progress. Also, maybe I’ll figure out what’s going on with all my potential food allergies/digestive issues this year. Or not. Thanks a lot, Body, I thought you’d wait til at least 40 to start to just go to hell but 30 is fine, too.

Hey, also being married is hard?! Like, I know people say that all the time and this is not news to me but guess what? Everyone is right. Of course, I don’t want to do this hard work with anyone other than Doug but it’s a serious adjustment.

I promise there were good parts to 2017…..

I went to the Women’s March in Boston and while it wasn’t without it’s problems – centering cis women over trans women, white women over women of color and Native women, being some of them – it was important for me to go. I wouldn’t say that I’m an activist, but I’m trying to learn to be more engaged with politics and supporting the causes I care about.

I also got to spend a lot of time with friends and family this year. Especially important are times at my BFFL Hannah’s cabin where I don’t really get cell service and so I’m forced to read books and talk to people. It’s incredible and Hannah is the perfect mix of hospitable and “do it yourself since we’re very old friends.” Some of my favorite weekends are those spent with there.

Doug and I also visited Minnesota which we loved and picture of me that I ACTUALLY LIKE is photobombed by a couple of doofuses.

And despite marriage being hard, it’s also amazing. Doug and I spent our first anniversary in Maine where we read, ate, slept, and played games. It was so perfect. I’m in love with him and with how completely unhinged I look in the picture below.

Work was a challenge at times. I didn’t always agree with the way some issues got handled, and I share this pseudo-management role that I don’t feel good at or prepared for at all. But other times, we had a Ghostbusters lock-in with 30 teens and it was the best kind of crazy. Finally, my coworker Renata is the best and incredible and I would definitely cry if I didn’t get to work with her.

What else was good? There is more, but throughout the year there are constant themes: my family, Doug, Hannah, Renata, Bev (that’s right, my cat) and all my friends who reminded me that I’m loved and cared about. With everything else being a bit shit, it’s the people who you care about that matter. Thanks to all who made an effort for me this year, it means more than you know.

What’s next?

Well, resolutions aren’t my thing but as Doug and I were talking today in 2018 we want to:

• Take down Trump and the rest of the government who wants to ruin everything
• Fight for what is right (the environment, health care, LGBTQ rights, people of color, fair wages, etc)
• Play more games
• Hang out with our friends
• Hang out with our cat

I also want to:

• Sew more clothes
• Find a different exercise routine if I can’t figure out how to run without pain
• Write more here
• Be a good Printz Committee member
• Pierce my septum
• Get a new tattoo
• Eat more veggies
• Bake more
• More more more of everything that I love and that matters
• Get a porg
• Maybe wear less vests? (4 out of 5 of the pictures I posted I’m wearing a vest. I have a problem?)

That’s it for 2017. Hug your family and friends when you can. See you on the other side.